Death By Chocolate

The Opening Chapter Of DBC

It’s raining. It’s a dark night. As I ride through the empty streets of this suburb of Manipal, I see my shadow changing its length with each street lamp I cross. They say, shadow is my reflection, and I can see that even my own reflection is not the same for all. So is my perception, and so is the authenticity of my introspection and this story.
A few years back, something happened, which changed my life completely. I know, when I say so, you might have a ‘!’ or ‘?’ in your eyes, or you might be thinking differently, but this story is just my point of view of all those things that I have seen in my life. My story can’t be summed up in a page or two, it can’t be packaged into something neat and clean, it has its sweet and its bitter parts. Sometimes I wish I could to go back to my past, and erase the bitter part, but I fear if I do so, I’ll lose the sweetness as well.
The drops have started hitting my face again, and as I speed up my bike, they start hitting faster. I am drenched. Completely drenched. The light from the lighthouse is yellow, and so is the sand on the beach. It is raining hard now. I have parked my bike and I can feel the wet sand under my feet. There is nobody around. The lighthouse is doing its bit and every time it turns around, it floods me with its bright yellow light. Every time it does so, it reminds me of one bright sunny day of my life. I step towards the sea. It is roaring, and that is the only sound I can hear other than my heart’s. The wind is getting colder. I straighten up my collar and squeeze myself in my own arms. Water splashes my feet. It is so turbulent here, but at some distance, I see tranquility; there is calmness at some distance, far- far away from the shore. Isn’t it in some way like the life of all of us, in front of ourselves, it is always the same turbulence, but somewhere far away, it is calm. We don’t see it with our eyes open.
I am 21 today and all these years of my life I have been running; running for my annual athletic meet, running for a good reputation, running after a good hair style, running for my job satisfaction in whatever I do, running for my paper presentations, running after the guitar classes, running after the robotics competitions, running after her who changed my life. I am tired of running now. I want to rest for a while. Alone here in the middle of the night at the beach, I wish to relive all those beautiful moments of my life once more. I want to touch my past - just one touch. Though I have tried hard to forget it, I could never start a new life. The past haunts me at every step of my life, I hear her laughter all the time, I see her face everywhere. In front of me stands the lighthouse where we had spent one of the most beautiful evenings of our lives, high up those numerous stairs. The wind was so strong; the sky so clear, the sun setting by a violet canvas at the horizon, and I used to think my life was so fair.
I want to escape my past. For long, I have told everyone around me a lie, a big lie. I can’t stand the secret that is shut in my heart, anymore. I want to cry here in the rain, for I still don’t know whom to blame. Water is pouring from the sky and there lies a vast ocean in front of me. I can cry here and nobody will distinguish my tears from the rain, my anguish from my pain. I close my eyes and the past starts haunting me even more. The pictures start flashing like a movie. The places change, the people change, the roads turn to graveled ones, and the buildings are replaced by green trees. I see children playing in the streets, I see my friends surrounding me on a mesmerizing evening. I see myself traveling through all those phases of my life that have lead me to this cold arid beach today, that make these tears roll out of the corners of my eyes and make me realize what life is. I am tormented by these thoughts. I open my eyes and I know exactly who I am.

I am Navneet Nishant and this is my story.